I cannot believe it has already been one month. It’s been one month sense everything in my life changed and I am thriving! If you do not know what happened a month ago, you can probably find it somewhere in my social media. Long story short, I removed my child and myself from a very toxic situation. The two of us have not and will no longer be associated with my side of the family. It was not easy and honestly it was VERY scary but here we are. I honestly imaged Parker and I sitting in a homeless shelter starving. But I made things happen. And no, I did not quit school, and I WILL NOT be quitting school! Why? Because what would be the benefit of dropping out when I have less than three semesters left? It will be hard but I will do it. This has caused multiple changes to our lives and here are just a few!

1. Finances

   We do not have the financial means that I wish we had. Of course, until I am giving Parker the world, I will not have the financial means I want, but it has made things quite difficult. I have been given lots of help from friends and family (Max’s) thankfully! We are renting out a space for fairly cheap, Maxwell has stepped up to help us out, and our daycare even adjusted our tuition to fit our finical means. 

   The hardest aspect of our finical struggle is that I have had to take on a lot more work. I absolutely have loved being able to stay home a few days a week with Parker, but it has become virtually impossible at this point. I just hope that he is so young that by time I am teaching and finically comfortable he will not remember the times that we were struggling!

2. Full Time Daycare

   Daycare has always been a struggle for me! It is a lot easier to hear stories about tragedy at daycares than it is to hear good stories and that truly frightens me. My first two years of school Parker was bouncing around from one family member to the next and it became very unreliable. Max and I made the decision last semester to send him to daycare two days a week while I was in school. Then this semester he would go for three days, then eventually going full time when I began student teaching. Due to our current situation we decided it would be best to have Parker start full time daycare this semester so that he would be on a stricter schedule. Before he would be bounced back and forth between parents, grandparents, and daycare, and it was just not good for him. There were days that he would be with me all day and Max all night, then I would have to pick him up at midnight just to wake him up at 6:30 am. It was not a good fit. So here were are at full time daycare, and it really is an amazing daycare. Thankfully the owner and I were able to work out a finance plan to make it possible for him to attend full time! 

3. No Musical

The hardest decision I have had to make, which is still killing me, was deciding not to do the musical My Fair Lady this summer. I am utterly heart broken over it because of the amazing experience I had last summer doing The Wizard of Oz. There will be plenty of musicals in the future and I will just have to wait until another chance arises. As I said previously, I am not in a great place financially, and next year I will be doing student teaching full time, which means I will not be able to work. If I were to work during my student teaching then I would not be able to see Parker at all. So, this summer I will be working 40-60 hour weeks to save up enough money to make it to the end of school, or at least that is the goal.  

4. Goals

How have my plans/goals changed?

Well first of all my five year plan went a little like this:

Stay with my parents an save up all my money.

Graduate college (2019)

Start teaching

Buy a car

Buy a house/Move out (2020)

(Of course fall in love and get married somewhere in there hopefully!!!)

Not much has really changed besides the fact that I will be taking Max’s old car while he gets a different one, and most likely I’ll be renting a home for several years before getting a house of my own. I will gruadate college on time if it kills me. 

I will make things happen for my child and I will succeed and have an amazing life. No matter what struggles I have to go through! I am learning through this experience the importance of family and relationships that I am creating and that I have. I am learning how important human connection is and how important it is for me to text my friends to remind them how important they are to me. So for anyone who has asked me if I need anything, yes. I will always need help, but all I need is support, be it a friend to talk to, a hug, a text, or just a like on Facebook, it all means so much to me. Thank you for the constant support. And please forgive me for the delay in blogs, I currently do not have any wifi! 

Until next time,

M.M.D

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